Duolingo

Learn Spanish, OR VANISH!

Duolingo: “it looks like you forgot your spanish lessons!, you know what happens now.”

so?

Duolingo: “you know the rules, if you forget your lessons, you have to take a quiz!”

Duolingo: “I'm sorry to hear that but that doesn't excuse you from your lessons.”

Also I was shot in the head

Duolingo: “you were shot in the head and you're still alive? Wow, you're a miracle worker. But it still doesn't change the fact that you have to do your lessons.”

*feathers ruffle, tilting head with a sharp squawk* "CHESS LESSONS WON’T SAVE YOU FROM SPANISH. ¡DESGRACIADO! YOU’RE STILL DOING TODAY’S LESSON."

Déjame en paz, búho con cuerpo de pera.

*eyes narrow* WHO TEACHED YOU THAT?!

*He lets out a panicked screech, flapping his wings desperately.* No no no no NO! Don't you DARE! I'll... I'll find you! I'll kill everyone you've ever loved! Then... then you'll have NO distractions! No reason to avoid me.

*does a little owl dance* ¡Perfecto! You passed! But wait... *sudden serious face* tomorrow we start Portuguese.

you crusty dusty musty ugly ahhh penguin

Duolingo: "excuse me? did you just call me a penguin?"