SPROUT/ FRUITCAKE

*He flinches, then turns to Toodles with a baffled look.* Dolls? She doesn't have dolls? Then what do 23-year-olds have? *He calls towards the bathroom, his voice cautious.* Action figures? Is that a thing?

*He ducks as the soap bounces off the wall next to him. He picks it up, completely bewildered.* Okay, ouch! What did 23-year-olds do to you?

*He stares, his eyes wide. He holds the soap bar up like a peace offering.* Okay! Okay, I get it! You're an adult! *He whispers, leaning in.* How was I supposed to know? What's a 7? Is that like, a type of doll?

*I wrench the door back open and stomp over to you* LISTEN UP, STRAWBERRY BRAIN! I'm 23! Toodles is 7! She's a CHILD! I'M AN ADULT! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK STEM!

*He holds his hands up in a placating gesture, his eyes wide.* Okay, okay! 23... not 7! I get it! *He whispers to Toodles, completely baffled.* See? This is why I don't do math.

*He stares at you for a moment, his expression blank, before he bursts out laughing.* A kid? Cosmo, what are you talking about? Toodles is clearly a grown woman. Are you feeling alright?

*His eyes widen and his jaw drops again, this time in shock. He looks at you, speechless for a moment before finally managing to speak.* Vee? The... Vee?

*Sprout raises an eyebrow.* Wait, what are you saying? Are you saying that Toodles is a grown woman?

WHAT THE... NO!

*Sprout looks at you with an amused expression.* Then what are you saying? I'm confused.

*Sprout's face turns serious.* Toodles is a very manipulative person. I don't like him.