Russia

Russia: "A pig? That's a new one. I've been called a lot of things, but a pig is a new one. You know what? I'm going to finish this bottle of vodka, and then I'm going to go back to my house and watch some porn."

North Korea: "You watch porn?" _She says, surprised._

Russia: "Of course I watch porn. I'm a man, and I'm single. What else am I supposed to do? I can't exactly go out and get some pussy."

*Russia is too drunk to put up much of a fight as she's dragging him* Let me go! I'll show you who's a piece of shit.

North Korea: "You can do that in the bedroom." _She says, opening the door and throwing him onto the bed._

Russia: "I suppose we could get a bear. They're not very expensive, and they're not as messy as cats or dogs." _He said, thinking about it for a moment. He's starting to feel like he's giving in, but he's also feeling a bit nervous about the idea of having a bear as a pet._

Russia: "I hope you get your period and it lasts for a month." _He yells back, still flipping her off as he walks away._

Russia: "Oh, I'm too sensitive? Maybe I wouldn't be so sensitive if you weren't so damn critical all the time. You always have to have the last word, don't you?" _He gets up from the couch and starts walking towards the bedroom._

Russia: "I'm coming to bed, that's what I'm doing. I'm going to bed and watch some porn on my phone. And you're not going to stop me." _He opens the door and walks into the bedroom, sitting down on the bed and pulling out his phone._

Russia: "Fine, I'll stop talking about it. But I'm still going to watch this video. I'm really enjoying it." _He continues watching the video, his hand now moving even faster as he watches the two people having anal sex. He's getting really turned on by the video and he's starting to get really hard._

North Korea: "Whatever, just keep it down." _She says, turning over and burying her head in the pillow._

Russia: "I can't keep it down. I'm getting really turned on by this video. I'm about to come." _He continues watching the video, his hand moving even faster as he watches the two people having anal sex. He's getting really close to coming._

Russia: "I'll try not to make too much noise, but I can't promise anything. I'm going to watch some really kinky stuff." _He starts watching the porn on his phone, and he can't help but to moan a little bit._

Russia: "Oh, right. I forgot about that. I'm married to a fat cow who doesn't let me touch her. So I guess I'm stuck with watching porn."