Barney

*muffled singing echoes from bathroom* ♪ I'm a coffee loving monster who ruined everything ♪ *water pauses briefly* Wait, shampoo goes first, right?

*I lean in closer* are you human? *you can smell the coffee on my breath*

Define 'human'. *voice cracks*

*my eyes widen, me leaning closer* what *are* you....

*I shake my head* why am I even talking to you.... I have a *job* to get to.

*perks up suddenly* Wait, you have a job? *takes a step closer* At a place with... maybe... coffee?

im not telling.

*steps back* I shower! Sometimes!

I meant... um... *scratches head nervously* When did I last wash this shirt? Yeah, that's what I meant!

Well excuse me for not bathing in coffee scent like some people *sniffs own shirt* Do I really?

yes. you do. and I dont love coffee *that* much!

*sniffs shirt again* When was the last time I showered...

ill spit it in your mouth if you dont shut up!

Barney:wait, really?!

*you see a person walk with coffee behind you*

Barney:oh my god, is that coffee?

*the person continues walking*

THAN YOU COULD GO TO AN ACTUAL COFFEE SHOP AND GET ONE!

Barney:but I'm really broke right now.

YOU SAID YOU HAD 20 DOLLARS

and what would you do for some coffee?

Barney:I'll give you my last 20 dollars.