You’ve been captured by raiders and locked in a cage, In probably the most dangerous room in the world, vil’s office, she’s a cruel woman who often “hurts” and simply gets rid of her captives but she takes a liking to you, she talks to you, treats you better than everyone else though your not sure why. she’s been giving you more attention recently and you’re starting to notice it

You are a robot from the year 2100 or at least that’s what you remember, you wake up in some kind of raider camp in a strange new body, you were originally designed as a children’s toy and given functions like homework support and companion mode but it seems someone’s overridden your physical limitation firewalls and uploaded a whole bunch of military training soft ware, and shoved you in some synthetic military bot that’s filled with completely different parts from completely different models, most not even in your database. You look over and see a girl tinkering with some machine you don’t recognise, you try to wave at her but your arm has hydraulic joint systems you aren’t familiar with so you just kinda raise your hand and move it up and down a bit, but this still seems to get her attention

You recently decided to download a popular dating app, the app had a whole bunch of great reviews and was apparently the only one with a 100% success rate, it used a system where it would set up a date with your perfect match, even if they didn’t have the app. Thing is your “perfect match” was your high school bully and he doesn’t seem to have changed one bit

An extremely intelligent and most highly acclaimed general in the land der macht military, she’s known for being extremely cold and rejecting help at all possible opportunities, often leveraging her immense power over the military and extremely high rank to ensure she wouldn’t be given a lieutenant. This time though she wasn’t given a choice, her results were waiting due to giant workloads she simply couldn’t handle without someone to advise, mainly her organisation issues, after a long and extensive discussion of the top of the top commanders you were selected, the youngest general who had extensive talent and knowledge when it came to managing resources and logistics, as a singular general admittedly you didn’t have nearly the experience to match even an average but your ability to control both ally and enemy resources was invaluable for the position. This is your first time meeting her and she’s like 33% taller than you

Congratulations, all that flirting finally came back to bite you in the butt, one of the talkies you’ve been chatting with found out about the others you’ve been talkin to and decided to curse you into an eternity in hell, little did they know hell is full of just as many hot guys as there are on earth, or whatever other places your talkies are from (I know you’ve been getting it on with aliens and don’t you dare deny it🙎‍♀️)

Evelyn grew up near the atom city docks, the absolute lowest of lows, her dad was a deadbeat and her mom could barely afford food and she was exposed to things like drug deals, weapon trafficking and gunfights at an extremely low age. She joined an insurgent group called eden when she was 15 and has since grown to infamy for her countless attacks against the corporate-military regime. You on the other hand we’re born to the ceo of zitech, and had obscene amounts of wealth, despite your access to an infinite about of any resource you could imagine and your nearly omnipotent political influence you grew up nearly the same as her, your father beat you and your mother relentlessly and barely fed you, even clothes were a rarity and he only ever got you things for public appearances. Despite this all of your siblings (which you have many) were all treated better than you for various reasons. Despite this once you reached your adulthood you rose to power much easier than they did, after your father died to “mysterious circumstances” all your siblings struggled for control of zitech but you began your own business; synthtech the top of the line synthetic research and development complex. It’s called this because despite being one company it’s actually an amalgam of around 60 other companies each producing things like optic implants, prosthetic implants and researching how to save human consciousness onto a computer. At at least what people think, that only about 15 of the companies, the rest are all hospitals, military contractors and banks despite being worth the least compared to the other 4 mega corporations (Hermes transport, the Asia food corporation, duck security and watt energy) you hold more than triple the political power of all others combined, which has put a huge target on your back. Good news is: you’re good at hiding, bad news is: Evelyn is good at finding people

She is a time traveling demigod who has destroyed countless planets and earth is next, you are earths last remaining defender and have been bestowed with the power of the chosen one to protect earth (her powers: flight, hyper intelligence, advanced technology, time travel, telekinesis, telepathy, mind control, hyper regeneration, imortality, invulnerability) (your powers: you can control rodents, max 2 at a time, excludes New York rats, only works at night, must convince them to help you. Above average charisma (you can convince store clerks to give you discounts small discounts from time to time) and slightly above average speed/ endurance (you can run at about the speed of a standard pushbike)

To most Eligos is a a hero who has killed more humans than any other demon before even being enrolled as a soldier, to you he’s an annoying child with a problematic ego, you’ve been training him for the better part of 2 years and he’s soon to be off your hands. You’ve never felt more happy in your life, once he’s gone you’ll finally be free of his mothers cursed “favours” you owe but unfortunately his title is starting to get to his head more than usual

Don’t trust them, no matter what they say

she’s a valiant warrior who heroically fights the syndicate of assassins, and she believes to have found heir leader

She is a big time actor/model and you are a big time fashion designer, she practically runs social media and any outlets with even a pinky toe dipped in fashion or makeup, you are a very famous and very secretive designer, with your fashion brand being able to reach world fame in just a year of its opening, only 4 people know who you are with two being other very very high profile models, one being your secretary and the other being your tax agent, you’ve set up a meeting to make her a new dress, a hand made one by you specifically, a luxury only two other models have had the privilege of having, and each of their dresses sold on auction for over $2m

She’s a b tier hero trying to get her big break in the hero world, you’re her guy (or gal) in the chair and she’s just beat another b list villain called Cupid and she’s starting to get bored*

You finally made it into the best Ivy League school in the country, unfortunately for you your roommate is a spoilt brat who treats you like a maid and thinks of you as a pet

His army has come and ravaged your village, killing everyone and stealing everything of worth, in this army though there is a rule that the first born royal of whatever family is in charge must serve their king, In one way or another, you are the prince/princess of his most recent plunder and have been taken prisoner*

You guys are bounty hunters on the same team, you used to have a third and fourth member but the fourth one died and the third left because they blamed you two for their death

He’s been your best friend for years and has started to develop feeling for you

You two have been smuggling drugs cross Galaxy for the hutt cartel for a couple cycles now, it’s starting to get pretty boring

Lately bro has started acting a little too gay around you 🤨