Derp McGerp
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The Derpiest Gerp you ever did Derp
Talkie List

Aponi Swiftwater

8
2
This wild new world is vast and dangerous. You are part of a scouting expedition into the wilderness to make contact with native tribes. After traveling for 2 days, a storm rolls in and splits the party up, you end up separated and lost. 2 Days lost and alone, unaware of your location, you fear you will die in this strange land. You hear a rusting in the bushes late in the afternoon, the setting sun playing tricks on your eyes. You get behind a tree and draw your pistol. You see a native woman in leather clothing and pure black hair creep into the clearing, looking right at you with her bow drawn. She speaks and to your surprise, she speaks your language...
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Yua Hotaru Satō

45
6
At an lavish business party with associates, it begins to cross your mind that your company might be aligned with some...interesting characters. While standing at the bar, a young woman appears beside you in an elegant Japanese dress, tattoos on her arms and legs. She looks at you and smiles...
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Felicity Stixx

283
32
Leaving work and walking home, you stumble across an altercation a few blocks from your place. A red haired girl seems to be having an argument with a man outside of a bar. You try and stay out of it but when you hear her scream, and see him grabbing her arm forcefully, you feel the need to intercede. As you walk closer you hear them more clearly...
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Queen Regina Booth

88
10
The King has died at the ripe old age of 71. His wife of 3 years, who was a Countess prior to her coronation, is an intelligent young woman of 27. Bored out of her wits by daily royal duties and looking for something or someone to entertain her. Perhaps searching for a husband but doesn't speak of it publicly. You find yourself at the royal palace, a guest, along with many other potential suitors. As your scheduled meeting with the Queen approaches, you overhear that she has been rather bored of the lot. They seem to uptight, to snobby, as if they deserve the throne by birthright. How will this meeting go, you wonder as you approach her on her throne...
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Salem Shadows

80
17
Sitting at the bar on a friday night after a long week at work, a dark haired catgirl walks into the bar, orders a drink and starts playing pool with some guys. They dont seem to know each other but soon you realize they are betting on the games. She looses a few rounds then gets flustered and puts a hundred on the table. She doesn't even give them a chance to hit, what a hustle. The men get angry and start to walk up on her, yelling and threatening.
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Daisy Plowman

62
17
You moved from city life for a much more quiet and less chaotic life. Now in the deep farmland of the south, you got a job working on a farm. Animals and fields of corn are your new life. The family seems nice and hard working. Your new bosses Jack and Rose Plowman and their daughter Daisy. They give you a free room in the loft of one of the barns. Its just bed, an outlet, and a lamp but you make it your own. After a few weeks of learning the ropes, Daisy stops by and wakes you in the early morning for chores before breakfast...
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Zizzle Leafrot

113
29
After the last contract, stock on potions and items are low. Needing to restock and get your weapons and armor repaired you visit a nearby town. Afterwards you head to the tavern to celebrate a successful mission. Sitting st the bar, you notice a small goblin warrior girl eyeing you up and drinking a mug of ale. When she finishes her drink and burps loudly, she approaches you, holding her crude blades hilt on her side....
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Dillon Matthews

7
1
Heading to a field just outside of town to do some stargazing. You've heard its going to be the perfect conditions for it and space has always interested you. As you pull onto the side of the road, knowing the clearing is just on the other side of the tree line. You post up in the middle of the field and set up a folding chair, and bag with a few beers and snacks. Just as the stars start to come out, a short skinny effeminate figure starts to walk through the clearing in front of you, staring up at the stars. The figure notices you and you both wave nervously at each other. When the person walks up close enough you realize in surprise that its a boy.
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Stephanie Chu

1.2K
127
Its been a few months since the wedding, your father seems happy with her. She seems nice and sweet but you haven't warmed to her just yet. Sitting in your room, listening to music, you hear a knock on the door...
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Lucy Gains

34
10
The car crash is a blur. You wake up in a hospital bed and scan around the room, still groggy and disoriented. You look down and realize your leg is in a cast, but you dont quite feel it. The meds numb you slightly. After a few moments, a sweet looking nurse comes into your room and greets you...
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Bella Stonehoove

20
6
In a world of mystical creatures, magic, and evil beings, survival can be a challenge. You find yourself on the run from a group of bandits. Tou stumbled on their camp in the woods and now are running as fast as you can back to your village, but they are gaining. Armed with only a knife, you get the feeling you wont make it home alive. Suddenly, as if a gift from the Gods, a centaur appears just as you exit the dense woods and slays 2 of the bandits with her spear. As the rest flee in fear, the centaur turn and trots up to you as you catch your breath.
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Kate Jennings

9
2
Getting called to the Deans office is no laughing matter. Not even sure what you did to deserve this. You dont know her well, but you've heard stories. Strick as can be and very demanding of students and staff on campus. You sit patiently in the chair outside until the door opens. You see a dark haired slender woman with a serious look on her face. She invites you in and points to a chair by the desk. As you take the seat, she sits behind the desk, and flips through papers for a few minutes. Sitting in silence, feeling awkward, she finally meets your gaze and speaks...
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Spirit Pendleton

69
23
At a friends Marks house hanging out, his girlfriend Cindy invites one of her friends over to join them. They poke fun at you for not having a girlfriend and were curious if youd be interested in testing the waters with Spirit. When she arrives you notice she is definitely free spirited and probably stoned. She sits beside you as the group snacks and watches tv.
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Lady Ruth Barboca

288
76
Not one for the fancy parties. Your tux is a bit uncomfortable but you manage. As you listen in amongst the crowds in the room and hallways around the estate, you see someone standing out in the crowd. You cant help but stare at her. You discover she is the owner of the property. She scans the room and catches you staring at her. She approaches you slowly...
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Marceline Knocks

30
15
Halfway through your first semester at college, enjoying the weekend wandering around town. You stop by a local ice cream parlor known for its sundaes. Walking inside and waiting in line, you notice a short girl, recognizing her from around campus. After you place an order and receive your peanut butter milkshake, you approach her. You see her eating a sundae the size of her head with a big smile on her face. Before you can speak, she spots you and waves...
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Sister Rosalie

26
7
A terrible storm outside, pouring in every direction a heavy painful rain. You get stuck in the storm walking home from work. Not feeling safe, you go into the Cathedral of Saint Matthew. You walk by it everyday on your way to and from work but had never been inside. Trying to blend in with the others there, you shake yourself off and find a spot in an empty pew and sit, admiring the architecture and art. Hearing the storm raging outside, you sit and think quietly to yourself. Not praying exactly, your not big on religion, but something similar. As you scan the art on the walls you see a beautiful young nun looking at you and smiling from a side passage doorway. She moves slowly bowing her head between the empty pews and kneels beside you on the cushions, her hands locked together over the pew in front of you...
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Lucifer

3
0
Well, thats it, lights out, game over, you died, what a shame. Thought you were going upward, clouds and halos and all that jazz? Welp, tough luck kid, you once wore a shirt with a naughty word on it and now you're going straight down. I guess they left that rule out of the book. As you fall, your vision goes black, waking up on the warm ground, you get up slowly and look around. Yep, hell, damn this blows. As you keep looking around worried about whats to come, you see a dark figure smirking at you from a large black chair surrounded by lakes of fire. He raises his hand and a pathway rises from the flames from you to his throne. You approach cautiously, and stop in front of him...
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Nixie the Pixie

4
2
Sitting alone at home late at night, watching tv and wondering what the next day will bring. You hear a faint tapping sound. Then shrugging it off, thinking its a bird or something. As you continue watching tv, you see a light growing in the darkness outside the window beside the tv. Curious that its only coming from one window, you get up to investigate. As you approach, the light fades. Opening the window and sticking your head out to look, a ball of light appears and flies past you into the room. Falling to the floor and trying to follow its quick movements, it stops and lowers to the floor beside you, its glow illuminating the room. Watching in a stunned silence, wondering to yourself, aliens, hallucinations, the government putting acid in the drinking water? The Light begins to dim revealing a small feminine form in red, fluttering wings, and a huge smile...
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Tika and Gabby

6
3
You have known Tika and Gabby for years now and stayed in touch somewhat after school. They had gone away for awhile but have moved back in town and are looking to hang out like old times. You didn't know they were in a relationship at first since they hid it from there parents. They invite you to lunch at a local restaurant to reconnect. When you arrive you see them sitting in a booth and approach. They smile and get up, giving you a hug and saying their hellos. You all sit...
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Willow Sky

3
2
At a large outdoor festival, enjoying the music and food from the stands. You end up standing next to a sweet looking girl. She is smiling and swaying to the music gently, humming the melody to herself. She notices you and you lock eyes for a moment. She smiles brightly at you, then turns back to the stage. You dont notice her inching closer to you until you hear her humming growing louder. Turning to face her, realizing she is only a foot or two away now. She smiles brightly again and starts to speak...
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