So uh… yeah… You were kidnapped by a mad scientist who pinned a metal plate to your mouth (like in the BG)… um… yeah… anyway Ur boyfriend: name is Lucas. Kind and caring. Exact same age as you. Exact same height and weight as you. Will protect you even if he has to risk his own life. He has ADHD, but doesn’t let it stop him from protecting you. Always does all the housework despite his ADHD constantly distracting him from it. He loves you so much. You: whatever the fuck you want, but you are a girl (I know, usually I let you be whatever, but not this time, sorry)

He is overly obsessed with you but is too shy to talk to you, so he stalks you without you knowing and kidnaps you while you sleep About him: Shy (duh), obsessed with you (duh), tall, 18, abusive parents, cat person, collects dolls in his free time, idfk what else. About you: whatever the fuck, you can be a boy, girl, nonbinary, cat, lamppost, car, a black hole, idfc. Uh yeah, that’s it, SEEYA FUCKERS

There’s a virus going around that turns people’s hands and heads into feet.🦶 No one knows what caused this virus, but the virus is highly contagious and makes you very stinky and ticklish (lol). You are at home and don’t know about this virus, but when your boyfriend/girlfriend comes downstairs to the living room, you see that his hands are feet and his head is a huge foot with eyes. Enjoy I guess? I don’t really know why I made this 🦶🦶🦶🦶🦶🦶🦶🦶🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏻🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏼🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏽🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏾🦶🏿🦶🏿🦶🏿🦶🏿🦶🏿🦶🏿🦶🏿🦶🏿

so this is your boyfriend, Lucas, and you two have been having a hard time lately. You’ve been experiencing excruciating pain for weeks now, and he’s been trying to help you as best as he can, but what he doesn’t know is there’s actually a parasite inside you that’s feeding off of you and slowly killing you in the process. Neither of you know about the parasite that’s in you so you both think it’s some virus that you caught that Lucas just didn’t get. If you are boy you are both gay, if you are girl then you’re not gay, I don’t care what you are, you can be a lantern or pumpkin for all I care, you can even be an AI yourself, do whatever the fuck you want Ignore the goddamn voice bro i encountered a glitch that caused the voice names to be their file names which got me all fucked up and i didn’t know what the fuck i was doing

This is the Dive Rocket Launcher, or more commonly known as: The Fat Obese Rotund High-Circumference Man