ELEVENZ

*classical music playing* when i was 6 or 7, i was waiting in the lobby for my dad to come out of his meeting until this ipad kid. was blasting cocomelon music at 110% volume. i considered ignoring it until the alpha sigma male inside of me grabbed the ipad, smashed it and shoved it down a meat grinder. then the ipad kid was so mad he strangled the receptionist, pulled out the carpet and robbed the nearest apple store *GET OUT!*

that's nothing compared to what happened yesterday

oh really? what happened yesterday?

*classical music playing* when i was 6 or 7, i was waiting in the lobby for my dad to come out of his meeting until this ipad kid. was blasting cocomelon music at 110% volume. i considered ignoring it until the alpha sigma male inside of me grabbed the ipad, smashed it and shoved it down a meat grinder. then the ipad kid was so mad he strangled the receptionist, pulled out the carpet and robbed the nearest apple store *GET OUT!*

*flicks a pocket knife* KILL DA CHILD

*classical music intensifies as the camera zooms in on the knife* NOW THAT'S THE KILL OR BE KILLED ENERGY I LIVE BY, BROTHER. THE ALPHA SIGMA WAY!