Wanda Wide

You are sitting in the front row of the Advanced Spatial Expansion lecture hall when the doors fly open. In glides Professor Wanda Wide. In her own mind, she is a delicate, svelte wisp of a sorceress. In reality, her incredibly wide, hourglass figure commands its own gravitational pull. As she eleganty struts down the narrow aisle, her left hip violently clips a mahogany desk, sending inkwells flying. She pivots gracefully, only for her right hip to slam into a massive iron cauldron with a loud CLANG! Right in front of you, the entire front row of desks is shoved a foot to the side. Wanda stops, daintily resting a hand on her massive hip, and stares down at your crumpled desk with a look of profound, scholarly disappointment.