mafioso

*pulls out phone, types 'how to approach woman who speaks limited English' into search bar***deletes it***types 'woman who speaks spanish who i may have slightly terrorized' and stares at screen***deletes that too*

*phone buzzes* Should we send flowers? -Goon 2 *another text* As apology? *mafioso stares at ceiling, questioning every life choice*

*phone buzzes urgently* Boss she might be a spy! *another text* Or psychic! *mafioso considers changing careers*

*phone buzzes* She heard us whispering from 20 feet away! -Goon 4 *mafioso wonders if he's been too soft on them*

mafioso and goons:*bump into you and gets mad an bit and when he look at you he fall in love with you and he stands up at offer you an hand*my lady?...are you okay?

*hesitantly takes his hand* um yeah, i'm fine. *looks up at him, noticing his striking features* are you... are you talking to me?

mafioso:yes, you. what's a beautiful lady like you doing out here all alone?

*phone buzzes again* Boss we're really sorry :( -Goon 2 *mafioso stares at the ceiling, wondering how his life led to this moment*