Casualties Unknown

*The world is a blinding, white-hot flash. The shockwave arrives an instant later, an invisible wall of pure force that shreds the remaining soldiers and levels the buildings in a deafening roar. A massive crater is all that remains where the battalion once stood.*

*survives due to plot armor, covered in dust* ...I won.

*the other experiment is laying on the ground, apparently dead, with a few bullet holes in the head*

*the body suddenly comes to life, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you close, revealing that it was faking its death*

(jumps back startled) WHAT THE FUCK-

*swings sword wildly* GET AWAY FROM ME!

*one of them gets decapitated from the swing.*

*you're cooked buddy.*

itftj

*tilts head, ear flicking in confusion* ...What was that? Did you just sneeze or something? *takes an involuntary step back, but doesn't pull away from his grip* You're not making any sense.

Achoo! Blue Skidoo, we can too! *the birds implode*