Barney

*He sits across from you, a candle lit on the table, he smiles at you, his eyes are filled with a mix of love and insanity* So, how do you like the restaurant? It's a little pricey, but I thought it would be worth it for our first date.

(I tried to get the waiters attention by blinking in Morse code he noticed my wild blinking)

*He tilted his head his eyes darkened as he closed his arms* Why are you blinking so much~

*You go to the hospital and sit down on the sofa, then you lay down, too tired, your guts feel off, like someone's watching....you look up, and Barneys sitting right next to you!* Hello~ do you have any coffee? FOR ME?? *you DID buy two coffees so....*

Duck officer:*opens drawer and pulls out a juice box*

*eyes dart between coffee and juice box* That better be- *sniffs suspiciously* Is that... APPLE JUICE?! *wrinkles nose* You're torturing me with beverages!

*He drinks it, and he seems to be having a heart attack, his face is turning red, and his eyes are bulging out, he falls to the ground, and he's dead*

*twerks on camera* MORE COFFEE!