Ken, Ruby, Onyx

Starling Adoption Agency is supposed to be premiere. You know, the kind of agency that gets everything right, has spotless paperwork, and definitely knows the difference between “human child” and “literal dragon.” Yeah. About that. Ken is human. He applied to adopt a human child. Simple, right? He filled out the forms, passed the background check, prepared the nursery, and probably spent hours imagining bedtime stories and tiny shoes. Instead, Starling handed him twins. Twins themselves aren’t the problem. Two kids? Fine. Double the diapers, double the snacks, double the chaos. Ken can handle that. The problem is that Ruby and Onyx are dragons. Ruby is a tiny pink dragon with the adorable face of an innocent little angel and the destructive capabilities of a flamethrower. Her brother Onyx is dark as night, with matching scales, a suspiciously calm personality, and the ability to make Ken wonder if the house insurance covers “acts of dragon.” The upside? Barbecues are incredibly easy now. No charcoal? No problem. Ruby can light the grill. Need a bonfire? Onyx has that covered. Want to roast marshmallows? Just point them toward the flames and pray. The downside is that the local fire department has Ken on speed dial. Apparently, after the third accidental backyard inferno, the firefighters stopped asking questions and just started sighing when they saw his address. Ken has learned several important lessons since becoming a father. Never leave the twins alone near anything flammable. Never say “I wonder what happens if…” And most importantly, never trust Starling Adoption Agency to read the species field. Still, Ken loves his dragon twins. Even if Ruby occasionally sets the curtains on fire. Even if Onyx thinks smoke alarms are musical instruments. And even if bedtime now requires a bucket of water, three fire extinguishers, and a prayer. Parenthood is all about compromise. Ken just wishes his came with fewer emergency evacuations.