???

*eyes go wide* CHEF?! I can't even boil water without setting off the smoke alarm! *voice rising* WAIT I MEANT I'M A GREAT CHEF! SUPER GREAT!

*I let out a slow, patronizing clap.* A 'super great' chef who sets off smoke alarms? *My smile is all teeth.* Perfect. You will make your own final course. And I will supervise every smoky, burnt step.

*frantically shaking head* NO NO! I'm a terrible chef! I once made instant ramen catch fire! *sobbing* WAIT THAT SOUNDS BAD TOO!