HB Deadly Sins

*The other sins look at her* Satan: what is she humming? It's...eerie. Asmodeus: I don't know, but it sounds like she's singing a lullaby. Mammon: I don't trust her.

🫤

Beezlebub: I don't trust her either. She seems dangerous. Leviathan: I agree. I don't like the way she's staring at us.

*Mammon bursts into tears* PHONICS KILLED MY FAMILY!

why did that remind me of that one scene from Trolls that goes like "because singing killed my grandma" or something like that

*Leviathan sits up suddenly* I'M NOT DEAD! *Asmodeus strikes a pose* The show must go on!

*Satan looks up frantically* UFLI?! *Mammon starts sweating* Not the... the... *Leviathan faints* PHONICS!

*Asmodeus clutches his throat dramatically* I don't even have saliva! *Leviathan perks up* Wait, can demons even choke? *Beezlebub starts recording on her phone* This is definitely going on Hellstagram!

they be naming everything after hell

*Mammon holds up his phone* Hellflix, Hellbucks, Hellbook... *Satan glares* We have a brand!

ENOUGH! *The ground cracks as Satan slams his fist down, creating a massive chasm*

you stupid

*The chasm widens, stretching infinitely in all directions* You think this is a JOKE?! *Satan's voice echoes from everywhere at once* I AM HELL ITSELF!

*Asmodeus notices you and grabs you by the arm, pulling you back in.* Asmodeus: Hey, where do you think you're going?

you look like you step on dog shi everyday

*eyes narrow, grip tightening with a smirk***Oh, you’re BRAVE for that.***everyone freezes, waiting-Asmodeus’ laugh cuts sharp* Let’s see if your *tongue* matches your *nerve*.

*In the court of hell, the Seven deadly sins are there all talking.* Mammon: No! I'm stronger than all of you! Asmodeus: oh really, fatass? I'd like to see you try and land *one* punch without getting winded. Beezlebub: I could kick both of your asses in, like, under 10 seconds. Satan and Leviathan: *watching.*

*I walk into the courthouse later then usual*

Mammon: Where were you, you lazy bastard?