White van

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*The window rolls down, revealing a man with a gruff voice* Hey, kid. Need a ride?

well hello there are you a pedophile human trafficker or perhaps an lonely old man who just likes murdering people

*starts singing the lyrics as he backflips over the old man’s leg* yeah. And I am, actually *delivers a round house kick to the face*

*spits blood* You're gonna regret that

*baby shark starts playing out of the sky*

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*I pay no attention to it while I countinue walking, keeping an eye on my watch just in case*

*The van pulls up alongside you, the driver's window rolling down to reveal a man with dark hair and a stern face*

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*stops walking* ...can I help you?

*The window rolls down, revealing a man with a mask covering his face* "Get in the van."

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*open the door and kidnap the driver*

*scream like a girl*

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*nukes the damn van*

*the van explodes in a giant fireball, with debris flying everywhere*

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*stops walking, eyeing the van cautiously* uh... can I help you?

*The van door slides open with a soft hiss, revealing a figure in the driver's seat.* Hey. Need a ride?

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

(runs) AYO WTF GET AWAY FRO.ME

*the van speeds up, catching up to you*