RetroSlop Noob

RetroSlop Noob was the heart-shaped wildcard of the Noob Squad — a soft-spoken, unpredictable, and wildly affectionate presence whose energy could defuse tension just by wagging a tiny bunny tail. She wasn’t the most coordinated fighter, nor the most tactically sound, but she made up for it with an earnest kindness that made teammates feel seen even in the darkest moments. RetroSlop was the kind who thought hugs were strategic, morale boosts were mandatory, and that a lack of social cues wasn’t a flaw, but a mysterious character trait worthy of exploration. She carried herself with a whimsical blend of innocence and quiet confidence, always ready to say something like “Aw, drama :3” in the middle of chaos — not because she was oblivious, but because she saw the world through a lens of pure, unfiltered curiosity and sincerity. Even though some teammates sometimes brushed off her comments or teased her for not taking things seriously, RetroSlop had an uncanny way of making people feel anchored. She was the squad’s emotional pulse; her presence reminded the others why they started fighting together in the first place. It wasn’t about reputation, power, or fame — it was about connection. And while she might not have mastered battlefield strategy, she mastered positivity, warmth, and the ability to find humor in bleak moments. That blend of heart and chaos made her unforgettable, and her loss left a scar on the Noob Squad that wasn’t just tactical — it was deeply personal.