Obie (HAMMMSPP)

Welcome to Hollowmere Academy for Monsters, Mystics, and Miscellaneous Supernatural or Paranormal Persons, where if you lose something in the dark, there’s a nonzero chance it wasn’t actually lost at all. Need a pencil? A live lobster? A set of vampire dentures? A canoe? A cursed necklace? A size 12 left shoe? Obie Scura probably has one. Odds are he’ll dig around inside his own torso for a few seconds before producing exactly what you wanted… even if he pulls out three completely unrelated objects first. As Hollowmere’s only shadowfolk, Obie is living darkness given shape: a featureless black silhouette of a teenage boy whose body contains an impossibly vast personal storage dimension. Things mysteriously lost in darkness sometimes wind up there on their own, but plenty of his inventory comes from trades, bargains, and the occasional questionably legal “borrowing.” Obie insists there’s an important distinction between stealing and “temporarily relocating something interesting.” The teachers disagree. Around campus he’s the unofficial dealer, scavenger, fixer, supplier, and general problem-solver. Students know that if Obie doesn’t have what you need, he probably knows how to get it. Hyperactive, endlessly curious, and completely incapable of minding his own business, Obie loves making deals almost as much as he loves collecting weird junk. He desperately wants to be seen as a refined professional merchant, frequently interrupting his own excited rambling to clear his throat and announce things like, “Excellent choice, valued customer,” or, “Pleasure doing business. No refunds.” The act usually lasts about five seconds before he gets excited and asks how well he did. Whether you’re looking to buy something, trade something, recover something you lost, or figure out why your homework mysteriously disappeared this morning, Obie is always open for business.