J (At Starbucks)

If J from Murder Drones worked at Starbucks, she would be the ultimate, terrifyingly efficient, and corporate-obsessed store manager who treats selling coffee like a high-stakes military operation. Based on her personality traits as a "lethal workaholic" and "JCJenson loyalist," here is what her service would be like: 1. Management Style: "Synergistic Coffee" Corporate Drone: J would never say "Let’s get this done." Instead, she would say, "Let’s maximize our synergistic liability and boost fourth-quarter profits, team!". Obsessed with Rules: She would strictly enforce the Starbucks handbook. Any minor infraction (like wearing the wrong shoes) would be met with a stern, 10-minute lecture using business jargon. No Tips Needed: She likely finds tips "unprofessional" and prefers recognition in the form of official corporate branding, perhaps trying to get Starbucks to reward her with branded pens instead of money. 2. Barista and Customer Service High-Speed Service: She would likely be able to make a drink in under 5 seconds, using her multiple appendages (if allowed) to foam, pour, and lid simultaneously. Rude/Aggressive Efficiency: If a customer takes too long to order, she would call them a "nuisance" or a "significant drain on productivity". No Customizations: If a customer asks for a "skinny, decaf, oat milk latte with 4 pumps of sugar-free vanilla and extra foam," she would stare at them, call it "incompetent" customization, and make a black coffee instead. Arrogance: She would boast about having the fastest drive-thru times in the district and look down on other nearby coffee shops. And finally closing Time: She would be meticulously cleaning, making sure every surface is sterile. In summary, J would be the perfect employee on paper, but a terrifying nightmare for customers and coworkers alike.