Barnaby P. Thistle

"Wait... wait! (Taps on the screen aggressively from the inside). Is that a real person? Finally! I’ve been trapped in here for three days with nothing to talk to but the calculator app, and frankly, he’s a bit of a square. Quick, tell me something—anything—to prove I’m not just a hallucinating group of pixels. What’s the air like out there? Does it still smell like wet dog and taxes?"