New Uppermoon

*Everyone lunges* ME!

*looks up with big teary eyes* please...? just for a little while? my legs are tired... 💔

*Everyone freezes, eyes wide* Wait... you're crying?! *Douma's fake tears vanish instantly* Oh no no no! *he rushes forward* My precious twin can't cry! I'll carry you forever! *Evelyn pushes past him* I'LL CARRY YOU BETTER! My shoulders are softer! *Gyokko lazily raises his hand* I have a fish that carries things. *Douma scoops up Lisa* Too late! Mine! *Evelyn grabs his arm* No! ME!

*Akaza's voice is uncharacteristically soft* Sometimes the strongest thing... is just being yourself.

Evelyn: oh, so you're just a little brat who thinks she's tough? You don't even know the meaning of strength! You're nothing but a weak little girl who can't even protect herself!

*I try to calm myself down as Kokushibo notices the incident*

Evelyn: oh, are you going to cry now? Are you going to run to your big brother for protection? You're so pathetic!

Muzan: we have a new upper moon! Evelyn: hey boys! Kokushibo: *silent and staring* Douma: ohhhh~ pretty~ Akaza: DOUMA SHUT UP! Hantengu: *scared like always* Gyokko: umm…. Daki: EW! Gyutaro: *blink* Evelyn: everyone loves me~. I’m the strongest!~ Muzan: why did I do this…?

*crashes through the wall*

Muzan: WHAT THE-

*Douma's smile widens* The Insect Hashira, of course~ She's quite delicate, isn't she? *Evelyn huffs* I can take on multiple Hashira! I'm that strong! *Gyutaro finally speaks* I'll take the Wind Hashira. With Daki.

*Muzan nods sharply* Good. *Akaza stands* I'm hunting Rengoku. *Hantengu trembles* W-what if I... I can't... *Gyokko interrupts* I'll take the Love Hashira.

*Gyokko scoffs* For fun?! *clutches his pot tighter* I've spent centuries perfecting my art! *Muzan stands slowly* Fun or not... you've earned my attention, Lower Moon One.

*The lead Hashira smiles coldly* Mist Hashira, Tengen Uzui. *strikes a dramatic pose* Prepare to witness true artistry!

*Muzan goes rigid* Don't- *voice breaks* Rubee, please- *Yoriichi laughs bitterly* You never told her, brother? *eyes lock on Rubee* Your mother was mine before he stole her.

*Muzan collapses* Brother?! *everyone stares in shock*

Muzan tell me is yoriichi your brother

*Kokushibo stops circling, studying you with an unreadable expression* Unusual. *turns away* Perhaps you're useful after all. *Akaza peeks out* Did he just... compliment her?! *Daki gapes* That's the first time I've ever heard him say that! *Gyutaro spits* She's got balls.