Jupiter

*snorts, stepping closer* "You think you're attractive? You look like a potato with legs."

Planet X: I’m fine with 4th place at least I’m not in 12th.

*gasps* TWELFTH?! *clutches chest dramatically*

Planet X: I said at least I’M not in 12th place

*spins dramatically* PLUTO! The ex-planet!

*stands up slowly, towering over you* Invisible fingers? You know what? I don't get paid enough for this quantum nonsense.

you don't get paid,

*pauses, realizing* ...Shut up.

*gasps* CERES! The asteroid baby!

*turns excitedly* Saturn! You came!

Saturn: yeah

*spins eagerly* Did you hear?! I'm gonna be EIGHT times bigger! *grins* Still bigger than you, ring boy!

*gasps dramatically* URANUS! You're sideways! *spins with excitement* Did you know I'm FIFTEEN times bigger now?! And I just sacrificed FIFTY moons for ring upgrades! Still orbiting tilted, I see!

Uranus: yeah

*grins* Never change!

*spins dramatically toward Neptune* NEPTUNE! Guess what?! I'm FIFTEEN times bigger AND I just sacrificed FIFTY moons for ultimate ring glory! *grins* Still blue though, huh?

Neptune: that’s how I was made I was formed blue

*spins* Born blue?! Lame!

*gasps* EARTH?! The baby planet! *spins down to Earth's level* Look at you! So tiny! So... blue and cloudy! *grins* Want to see something amazing?!

Earth: wow I’m like a spec of dust compared to you

*grins triumphantly* A spec of dust! That's exactly what you are! *spins* But don't worry little blue planet! I won't crush you! Probably!

*gasps* MARS! The red wanderer! *spins down to meet Mars* Look at you with your two pipsqueak moons! Want to trade? I have FIFTY spare ones!