I'm Losing My Mind

TW for: ・depression ・self 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓶 ・𝓼𝓾𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮, or just death in general ・knives, maybe torture, or other such ways of hurting oneself or others ・𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓾𝓪𝓵 topics (such as hypersexuality, SA, etc) ・and others - Don't stick around if you don't want to read about any of that or similar subjects Ty for taking the time to come here though :3 - This talkie was purely made to vent and get my emotions out..despite feeling like a burden when I do. - And yes, I made this new TW comment to pin since the other one was outdated or smt..it js didn't fit my current struggles very well.

Great! More boys in karate giving me the suggestive looks. I'm going to just go laugh my pain away now, while I slowly keep losing my mind..

This is why I hate taking care of myself. Becuz what do you mean I need to do more for myself, but when I take the time to do it I'm "rude" cuz I'm taking too long..MOTHA𝓕𝓤𝓒𝓚𝓐 I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN??

Whenever I'm around anyone in real life, I always have my arms wrapped around my waist..kinda like a protective hug. I feel like this could happen from a lot of things...like comfort, trying to feel as if someome is hugging me, hiding my very small, skinny waist (from lack of food) cuz I'm kinda insecure about it..kinda reminds me of how Astro's arms are placed. They're also just wrapped up, about the same area too. Maybe that's part of why I love him so much..he holds himself like me...

Heya Via, I know your upset but we love you and dont hurt yourself over this!! ^=●=^ I want you to know that and DO NOT hurt yourself, you have beautiful skin and we love you and I ALWAYS will : D

Here's an update on the situation. I've been feeling nauseous more and more recently, partly because I don't eat. But I think the water I inhaled last night had something to do with it. I keep having the feeling of "I'm gonna throw up", keep sitting over the sink in case it happens..maybe this is a sign..maybe, if when I eat, I make myself throw up, I can starve enough to where my body can't handle it. And to settle my stomach a bit, I'll just drink a lot of water, so it's not as painful..?

Tried drowning myself in the shower a couple minutes ago. Not only was there not enough water every time i got a palm-ful, but I kept coughing it all up when I inhaled it. Why must this universe keep me here when I so badly want out of it?

Welp, y'all kept asking me to do this trend so I spent a few days doing all this- Srry if I got a lil lazy with a few of the jars :p Some of them (like 2 or 3 or smt) also have some hidden meanings if ya wanna try to figure those out. The base will be in the pinned comment if u wanna do this trend too.

I'm sorry.. I just couldn't resist...last night..

I'm not good enough And I never will be, but who am I to say anything? It's my fault It always is I'm selfish and could do better, but will I? No. My laziness gets the better of me. And when I get those depression episodes during a call, I let it take over me. I don't save the call, get over it, and continue like nothing happened I let the call end, and then feel like a 𝓫𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱 because of it. All he wants to do is talk to me, but I'm too selfish to let him do just that. I make HIM put in the effort to save the call. And it was like that when I still had "HER" around..