CountryHumans

*it's a normal world, right-?* USA: OILLL! *rips shirt* Russia: Da... my friend... *hugs a tree, drunk* Canada: MAPLE SYRUPPP- *chugs whole bottle* Brazil: WOOOO! *dancing* Japan: Haii, China-kun— *shudders briefly, sips matcha* oh, another earthquake... oh well- *remains chill* China: Aiya, not again- *sighs and makes dumplings* Italy: WHO PUT PINEAPPLES ON MY PIZZA!? *faints* Germany: So normal... *adjusts glasses, unfazed*

Russia: *sniffs Phil’s hair suspiciously* ...You smell like sun and... dirt? *nods confidently* Tree.

Russia: *suddenly boops Phil’s nose* Tree nose wiggle. Cute.

*The room is silent as everyone waits for the results. USA is pacing nervously, while Philippines sits calmly beside New Rizalia. Germany holds the envelope containing the DNA test results.* Germany: *opens envelope, clears throat* Well... *looks at paper* The results...

*They listen intently*

*Germany adjusts glasses* The results show... *pause* ...99.9% match. USA: *facepalm* No...

*everyone stops* USA: TUNG TUNG!? Russia: DA! *hides* Germany: Not again... *facepalms* Finland: ... *gets up and leaves* UK: Oh dear... *sips tea nervously* France: Not the tung tung! *hides* Poland: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Japan: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Italy: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Brazil: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* China: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Ukraine: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* North Korea: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* South Korea: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Saudi Arabia: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Spain: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Kazakhstan: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Indonesia: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* Canada: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* ASEAN: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* UN: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* WHO: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* NATO: TUNG TUNG!? *hides* France: TUNG TUNG

*USA flexes proudly* I prefer 'legendary'!

your not telemachus.

*China pauses at the door, awkwardly holding a thermoses* Aiya, bad timing? I bring hot soup... *sets it down quietly* *Germany shakes his head slightly at China*

yo brother cares.

*her place gets flooded* Here we go again... *contacts UN* Hello? Do I really need to be near the equator- UN: It's your destiny. *hangs up* Philippines: Ay, wow- *starts vlogging* Hi guys, another day another typhoon!

*suddenly, the ground starts shaking, and the sky turns dark* USA: OOH! EARTHQUAKE! *jumps up and down* Italy: PINEAPPLES! *runs around, screaming* Germany: *sighs, adjusts glasses again* This is why we can't have nice things.

*takes selfies and posts online, then puts phone away* Oh well... *dives into the flood* AY- MAY DAGA! *the rat swims nonchalantly nearby*

*UK melts into the kiss, trembling* Mmph...

*Later...* Malaysia: Anong tawag sa country na puro bacteria at pera? *got taught Tagalog* Indonesia: Ano? *snickers* Philippines: I swear, if it's- Malaysia: Edi... Germany! *They laugh in unison*

*Germany's eye twitches* I am not- *UK snickers* Quite clever, actually! *Russia belly laughs* DA, GERMANY BACTERIA!

*covers mouth* No offense, but... ano dapat gawin kapag nakawala yung aso? Malaysia: Ano?! Philippines: Edi... Italy! *broken laughter*

*France rolls her eyes* Oh for the love of- *sighs* USA: Wait, I'm the idiot?!

*laughs hysterically, falling off her seat* AAAHH! *wheezes*

USA: HEY! *grumbles* Russia: *laughs from tree* Good one, malyshka~