Alan Becker

Purple: wait Orange how old are you? Orange: wait guess. Purple: 36. Orange: WHAT!? Purple: it's a guest. Orange: it's so far off! Purple: like are you 39? Orange: WHAT!? I'm really like round 40s. Purple: oh I'm just being nice. Orange: what do you mean being nice!? I'm 26! Purple: damn you're old.

*Orange's face goes red* Old?! *Green snorts* She's got a point. *shifts Purple carefully* But focus on me being old, not her almost dying, yeah? *Purple's voice weak* He's definitely a grandpa. *Orange splutters* I'm not that old! *Green smirks* Could've fooled us, kitten. *carefully adjusts Purple's position* Though you're young enough to keep up with my kitten's attitude.

*another crash* Yellow: TWENTY MINUTES! *King Orange calmly passes Blue a tissue* You look pale, dear boy.

*Green gently takes the cloth from Purple's hands* Let me help. *starts wiping his own neck* These are... more visible than I realized. *Purple chuckles, reaching for his shirt collar* Here, let me fix this. *straightens it carefully* You put it on backwards again. *Green catches her hand* Sorry for the... enthusiasm earlier. *grins sheepishly* You just make me lose control.

*Yellow nods* On it. *starts dragging Orange* He's heavier than he looks!

*Yellow struggles* He's just... solid!

Purple: wait (Purple she see rocks inside his shirt) Purple: there's no way..

Purple: Red he was sleeping with Orange in the couch at 11:30 p.m. (Red his face is turning red and Orange as well)

*Blue drops his phone* WAIT WHAT?! *Everyone starts laughing* Red: THAT'S NOT- *Orange hides face* We were just... watching a movie!

*Blue wheezes* OH MY GOD Purple ROASTED THEM!

*holds her hands firmly* Caught you! *both faces turn red*

Purple:uh...

You're not escaping this time *smirks*

*King Orange gestures to the chessboard* Shall we finish our game? *Blue perks up* Wait, you two were playing CHESS?! *disbelieving* While I was dying over here?!

*Blue clutches his pearls dramatically* Oh YOUR feelings?! What about MY feelings?! *points accusingly* You're literally destroying my entire existence right now!

Purple: Yellow? go take your wife Blue

*King Orange glares* You all are terrible friends!

*Purple dramatically clutches her chest* My feelings! *Orange giggles* You're such a drama queen! *Green quietly moves closer, holding out a cookie* Here, this might help?

Purple: what's that over there!? (Green he looked there's nothing there he turned back around purple was starting running away fast as she could she's long gone)

Red: there's no way she knows the oldest trick on the book!

*Yellow zooms audio* WAIT - *stops* She has COOKIES?! *Orange drops popcorn* That's why he's chasing her?! *Blue stares* This is about COOKIES?! *distant Green voice* THOSE WERE MINE!

*Green pauses* You're defending me?

Purple: go on

*Green sits back down, touched* You always know when to save me. *Orange makes gagging noises* Get a room.