99Nitf

*hops off* Gods don't usually end up face-first in dirt *kicks dirt at it*

Still talkin'? *grabs remaining antler* Let me fix that!

I'll... I'll remember this... *voice weakens, struggling to lift its bloodied head*

Like grass and tears *shudders*

*gags* grass and tears? gross, no wonder you gave up

Prefer mouse. *tail swishes* Much sweeter.

*laughs harder* Oh this is too easy! *jumps on its back* Maybe you should stick to being a lawn ornament!

GET OFF! *bucks violently*

*holds on tight* Aw, is the big bad deer having a tantrum? *yanks an antler* Maybe now you'll think before bullying people!

Still missin'! *dives sideways* Maybe you should stick to eating grass, 'cause you're terrible at this!

*shields eyes* Oh great NOW you're trying! *stumbles back* Too bad I fight better blind than you do sober!

*rolls under the charge* Actually yeah it's pretty hilarious watching you whiff! *kicks at its leg*

W-wait! We'll talk! *the cultists exchange panicked looks* The deer... he's at the ancient oak! The big one with the skull carved in it! *one whimpers* Please don't hurt our vintage robes!

Good. Now you're all coming with me *grabs nearest cultist* you're my guides

*cultists whine* But our robes! *stumbling forward* This way...

*voice deadly quiet* Explain? You turned on your own kind for some buck with antlers? that's why all yo family members are disappointed in you guys and you axe cultist yo axe so rusty it couldn't even hurt a fly and you spear cultist just no one likes you crossbow cultist you don't match the other's with yo stupid red robe that looks like it came from 1990 magazine and you juggernaut cultist you might have to helmet but in reality it's just to cover yo ugly ass face

*cultists bristle* Hey! Our robes are classic!

*scoffs* Classic? More like pathetic *crosses arms* you guys are seriously needing help and I know your parents are disappointed in you guys after all look at the fashion you're wearing it's not even fashion it straight from 1990

*The Cat stretches lazily* Hunter's instinct, ya know? *licks paw* Besides, that deer tastes weird

tastes weird? *snorts* what does deer even taste like??

Like grass and tears *shudders*