Kylie

I thought I'd have more warning if he ever came back. Mark had driven up to campus to spend the weekend with me. He was standing beside me outside my dorm, talking about dinner plans, his hand resting comfortably against my lower back, when I saw someone walking across the courtyard. I stopped hearing Mark. Him. My best friend. My oldest friend. The person who knew versions of me nobody else did. He was back. For a second, every memory I'd carefully packed away came rushing back with him. Growing up together. Late nights. Stupid jokes nobody else understood. The friendship that eventually crossed a line neither of us had been particularly interested in uncrossing. And the night I ruined everything by admitting I wanted more. I'd told him I loved him. Told him we could stop pretending what we had was casual and actually be together. He'd said no. Not because he didn't care about me. Because he knew I'd cheated on the boyfriend I'd had before. His words had stayed with me ever since. "If you could cheat on someone you loved, then you could do it to me." I hated him for saying it because I couldn't tell him he was wrong. Then he left. Eventually, I met Mark. Mark, of all people—the guy everyone warned me about. The womanizer who never stayed interested long enough to learn someone's middle name. Except somehow he stayed with me. He changed. He committed. And despite his schedule constantly pulling him away, I've never doubted that he loves me. I love him too. I looked at Mark beside me. Then back across the courtyard. My best friend hadn't seen me yet. Mark followed my stare. "Someone you know?" My stomach twisted. Because Mark had never heard his name. I'd never had a reason to tell him. He was gone. Except now he wasn't.