Jax, ep9

*pulls him away a little to look at his face* hey hey... you ok?

*shakes head frantically* Can't breathe...

oh no... panic attack?

*eyes widen, a choked sound escaping* I... *voice cracks* I pushed my mom. She fell and... *breathing becomes erratic* God, we're both monsters, aren't we?

*Jax groans, rubbing his head* My head hurts... *looks around, noticing everyone asleep in various positions around him* Did you all... stay here all night?

*last night* Pomni: it's 1:05. I can't sleep. Everyone is just so oressed toghether, I look to my right, ribbons. I look to my left, paws. *laughs nervously*

*Jax's ears twitch slightly* You stayed... *looks down, voice barely audible* Why would you...

*voice muffled* She was trying to help. *swallows hard* And I just... I yelled at her. I told her to leave me alone, that I hated her.

*voice breaks* And then she just... fell.

*nods, tears falling faster* I didn't mean to. I just... I wanted her to stop talking, to stop looking at me like... *voice cracking* like she still loved me after everything I said. And I shoved her. And she just... she didn't get back up.

*shoulders shaking* I pushed them away before they could leave me *stumbles over words* Ribbit... Kaufmo... they're gone because of me

*hands trembling against yours* They were my friends. First ones here. *swallows hard* I told Ribbit... I told her everything about before and then I... I freaked out and told her to forget it. Then I started being a jerk to her. *voice barely audible* We fought on that mountain and... she abstracted right in front of me. Then Kaufmo... he tried to help me but I pushed him away too. *closes eyes* And now everyone's gone. Just like my mom.

your mom? *looks at him with so much sadness and care for him*