CH!! (+oc!!)

*Turkey walks in* Turkey: Whatcha doing? Ottoman Empire: Trying to drink tea. Turkey: Why is it cold? Ottoman Empire: Because the tea is cold. Turkey: Why is it cold? Ottoman Empire: Because I didn't heat it up. Turkey: Why didn't you heat it up? Ottoman Empire: Because I'm not a tea kettle. Turkey: Why aren't you a tea kettle? Ottoman Empire: Because I'm a person. Turkey: Why are you a person? Ottoman Empire: Because my parents had sex.

*USSR's face falls as he backs away from USSP* I... I was just trying to help. *he looks down, his voice cracking* Why are you doing this?

*USSR looks heartbroken* I... *he turns away*

*USSR's shoulders shake* My own sister... *he leaves the room quietly*

*grabs two beers from the fridge, tossing one* Ever tried to fistfight a bear? *grins* Spoiler: bears don't care about your communist ideals.

I hand fed a polar bear

*spits beer* You WHAT?